Hold the Hope: How Caregivers Support Loved Ones in Suicidal Crisis and Turn Experience into Art

Short Summary

This Shortwave episode centers on the emotional labor of caregivers supporting loved ones in suicidal crisis. It follows London-based caregiver Joe Lambert, who converted her experiences into a poem Hold the Hope and later a short educational film and a song to illuminate what people in crisis need from others. The program also features psychologist Ursula Whiteside of Now Matters Now, who discusses practical communication strategies, including validating feelings, staying present, and holding space without overreacting. The dialogue underscores the dangers of both underreaction and overreaction to disclosure of suicidality, highlights the value of the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, and shows how a compassionate, human-centered approach can reduce stigma and encourage help-seeking.

Medium Summary

The episode on Shortwave examines the emotional requirements of caregivers who support someone in suicidal crisis, shifting the focus from risk assessment to what caregivers need emotionally. It introduces Joe Lambert, a London-based caregiver who describes the moment she learned a loved one was suicidal and how she navigated fear and powerlessness. Lambert explains a guiding promise to the universe: to transform caregiving into something that prevents others from feeling powerless in similar situations. A key turning point is Lambert’s poem Hold the Hope, which articulates what a person in crisis needs: emotional safety, steadfast presence, and space to endure pain. This poem later becomes the narration for a short film about preventing suicide, and eventually a song performed by volunteers, including healthcare providers and suicide-survivors, illustrating the voices that surround those in crisis.

The conversation then delves into practical caregiving techniques. Ursula Whiteside of Now Matters Now outlines the dangers of underresponse and overresponse when someone discloses suicidal thoughts. She cautions that ERs are often ill-suited for mental health crises and promotes calling 988 for real-time coaching and support. The core guidance is to remain calm, be present, and validate the person’s feelings. Examples from the song’s spoken-word sections emphasize meeting the person where they are, avoiding dismissal, and acknowledging pain without judgment. A recurring theme is the stigma surrounding suicide, which can be reframed by recognizing the strength and resilience of those who survive suicidality.

Performance and training contexts are highlighted, with the UK National Health Service Mental Health Trust using Lambert’s film and song as training tools to improve engagement and openness in conversations about suicide. The episode also notes the broader impact of sharing experiences of living with suicidality on encouraging crisis help-seeking and hope. The piece closes with practical resources, including the 988 Lifeline, and a reminder to acknowledge the effort required to stay alive in the face of persistent thoughts. This episode, produced by Burley McCoy and edited by Rebecca Ramirez, weaves personal narrative, clinical insight, and artistic expression to reimagine how society addresses suicide prevention.

"There is an overresponse and that person is then directed to the emergency room where they may stay for 12–24, 3 days while they're being assessed" - Ursula Whiteside

"Observe my torment, share my pain. Help me believe that things can change" - Ursula Whiteside

"Hold the space. Stay by my side for long enough" - Joe Lambert

"For every person who dies by suicide, more than 300 feel suicidal or live with suicidality" - Emily Kwang